Flirtology 301: Making Moves in the Workplace

Song of the Day: Girls, Girls, Girls (remix) by Jay-Z ('..im looking for a Southern girl....pretty, witty, girly, whirly,....one who likes to party but comes homes early...light, kinda dark..short, kinda tall....slim, kinda thick...I swear I love Cherise')...or something like that (lol)....I love you to Shawn Corey Carter...Happy 36th Birthday (12/4)

Quote of the Day: "yeah gurl, I went out last night, and some negro gon' come up to me and ask me my name. You know what I told him? (me: 'what') ...I told him my name was Strange' (pronounced Straun-je')(laughs hysterically) - my sister...proof that 13 years later the movie Boomerang should be considered a classic

Newest Obesession: WORKING OUT!!!!!....I will be 23 next month and I WILL be fine for it!!


I have been asked by my audience to develop strategies for flirting at the place of work...which leads me to...

DISCLAIMER: I am not an expert on this subject. This information is coming from my Southern (aka 'G.R.I.T.S') feminine wiles, personal experience as a natural flirter, as well as first hand observation. With all of these I will transform the topic to make it work friendly. So if you get fired for sexual harrassment thats on you, because again, I am not an expert.

With all that being said...

Welcome to Flirtology 304:

1. Make Sure HE/SHE is interested: This rule is key because, again, this is the workplace, not Visions. If its wanted he'll reciprocate, if not, they'll tell everybody at the waterhole how much of a bug-a-boo you are, somehow it'll get to the boss...and the you'll have a nice little pink invitation, inviting you to the un-employment line.

2. Ok they're interested..now what?: Ok, we feel that they are sending us little signals (i.e. coming by our desk often just to say 'what's up'...especially when their desk is waaaayyy across the room, and their are no bathrooms near you). You have to figure out what kind of person they are. Read their energy. Try to spark up a convo to get some insight.

"How's your day going?"
"How was your weekend?" (only good on Mondays)
"Any plans this weekend" (only good on Wed, Thurs, Fri)

3. We know what type of person they are: This is good because we get know
a. if they will tell if I flirt with them (if yes..then stop)
b. what flirt strategy to use on the person

4. Flirting Strategies: Styles of flirting to use in the Workplace

a. The Conceited Flirt: (on walking by my desk)..."so tell me the REAL reason you keep walking by my desk?" follow by laughs)...flirty, yet the laughs make it like you aren't and takes the pressure off the question. We really don't want the person to answer the question

b. The Upfront Flirt: "you look real nice today"...classic

c. The Comedic Flirt: (on the employee meeting) "you look like you were bored to death in that meeting" ...this lets them know you were looking at them and it will spark a laugh cause they probably were

d. The Disceet Debate Flirt: ok..for girls its knowing the latest sports....for guys its knowing girls and how they operate. The key to this is playing devils advocate...spark a debate. I mean if you agree, you agree...but if the opportunity comes to where you and your interest dont agree...milk it for all its worth. Preferrably non-serious topics (sports, actors, movies..shit like that)

I want you to know that you can mix and match these flirting techiniques based on the situation

5. Make the move: Whenever you feel like..'ok i wanna see this person outside of work'..not necessarily for a date...just to get to know them. You can either
a. try to make it an after work shin-dig:invite co-workers to a bar so it wont seem like a date and since there will be liquor (hopefully they drink) they can let their guard down a little
or
b. Coffee, Coffee, Coffee: Always works...find a nice little spot..even suggest doing some work. Its not technically a date because you're not eating a meal. You just get to unwind and get to know each other a lil bit

Now..here are some things to be said

1. Dont get mad if other co-workers are feeling the same person as you: Chances are you aren't the only one going to like that person...especially if they are fine and personable

2. Please be discreet: You are still at work. Maintain your professionalism...besides we dont wanna get fired for beating our co-workers ass for meddling all in our business

3. Make sure they aren't married: I mean these days mofos be screaming single but have they wife that they married straight outta high school...if you still choose to play..just be careful

4. Watch your hormones: Sometimes you find yourself wanting to say "damn ill fuck the shit outta you"....now this is ok if you are 110% sure that person wont trip if you say it...but be careful

5. Im assuming college students or recent college grads are reading: Depending on where you are given a little slack on the flirting because you are young and 'dont really know' the workplace like that...take advantage

6. And please dont become the office floozy...men and women

Now these rules only apply if you work somewhere between corporate america and retail...Corporate America you get fired for not fucking and in Retail niggas say anything..so

Thank you for coming to class. Im sure there are some issues I failed to touch on so if you have any questions about flirting at the workplace, finding your personal flirt technique or flirting in general, leave me a comment... thank you