Girl Power (Part 1): Bowling Edition

Song of the Day: Don't Phunk With my Heart by The Black Eyed Peas (' You always claimin’ I'm a cheater ....Think I'd up and go leave ya.... For another señorita..... You forgot that I need ya.... You must’ve caught amnesia ....That’s why you don’t believe (ah) '

Quote of the Day: "yo' Christmas present?..you coming to see me...THATS your Christmas present"....damn mama..for real...thats how you gon' play ya girl?...

Newest Obsession: Throwback Nike Airmax 90's...them shits is hot (pS...Jordan has a new shoe coming out thats design is inspired by the Bentley GT coup..hot!)

Random: Should it be so cold that your tears freeze before even leaving your eye?
(F Chicago!!)


Case 1: My then boyfriend wanted me to meet up with him at the bowling alley.
Rules (his) : whoever loses has to pay for the game.
End result: Lets just say someones pride left them $100 short, and I left with all the money I came with.

Case 2: One night "The Family" (damn I havent heard that in a while...what ever happen to them?..lol) and "Immediate Cousins" went out to kick it at the bowling alley by Taco Cabana.
Scenario: There was a certain someones (male) with a name starting with "A" and a "C"..talking shit.
End Result: Wasn't much talking as we left...as a matter of fact there wasn't ANY talking after we left.
Bonus: ...but we did see a girl and a guy having sex in the front seat of a Black Range Rover at a highly lit gas station!!

Case 3: "my little brother that i molested'' and I ditched class to go bowling.
Background info: He's one of those guys that still beileves girls cant do anything and shouldnt do anything but cater to their man and keep the houseclean.
I told him (one time): "This aint what you want to do...imma beat your ass"
End result: Apparently that is what he wanted to do. We bowled 3 games that morning ( i beat his ass all three). He was so mad about it all day (literally)...we scooped up my roommate later that night..went BACK to the bowling alley...

yeah..he didnt want to give me any that night cause he was so salty...Thats ok buddy..im tired anyway from serving up MULTIPLE CANS OF WHOOP ASS!!

Case 4: Last Christmas my dad, my little brothers, my little cousin, and my stepmother went out for a little Christmas Eve bowling (the only thing you can do in Beaumont Texas).
Details: my stepmother, brothers, and cousin really didnt count.
End result: My father kinda threw shades for the rest of the night. I mean his sons look at him like he's superman...but guess what pops...'I, I be on dat kyptonite..."

Case5: Scenario: Lucky Strike. Chicago IL. I didnt know him. He didnt know me. But we all know that strikes in the 10th lane is always a good thing. Sorry dude. Go over there. Pick up your manhood.
Sore loser: Just like a negro he had to throw in.."I let you win". No man. Youre 40 plus years old..take it like a man.

In Conclusion. There is no conclusion.

I Must Not Be Doing it Right Then

Song of the Day: Unprdictable by Jamie Foxx ft/Ludacris "...some say sex is overrated, they just aint doing it right"

Quote of the Day: "I only talked to you cause you were light skinned"- Sugabear said that...yes...i know..(SMDH)

Newest Obsession: Sweet Baby Ray's Honey Barbecue Sauce. Ummm...mmmm..yum!

If you go to my house in Texas you will find on the 'fridge door red construction paper with a now yellow tint contract that I signed saying I would not have sex until I got married. I think I signed it in 1995 when I was what?....11, 12. Thinking back I really didnt have a chance to think it out. I mean I literally had to sign it in front of the congregation...including my mother. What I look like at 12 talking about, " This is a big decision. I need some time to think about this before I sign". My mother would have beat my ass.

So like a good Southern girl I ended up signing it and I stuck to it through middle school and high school. I had this grandiose sense of self because I didnt have to give it up to get guys. So by the time I graduated I thought it was smooth sailing to the alter. I really thought making it out of high school without having sex was the hardest thing to do. Then college came.

I made it through a good portion of college without getting 'knocked down'..but then...it happend.


Maybe it was the person I did it with. Maybe because the tease without actually doing it was what was so fun about it. Maybe it's because I started having sex so late in the game, but I definitely was like "this is it?". I mean it feels good. Definitely good exercise. As well as makes you sleep good (but 3 NyQuil tablets can do the same thing). But this is what bitches go crazy about? This is why one of my home girls fought in the club over? This is why I spent countless nights listening to my homegirls cry over a dude? ARE YOU SERIOUS?? I could have waited for this shit.

I came to the conclusion that it is all relative. I still think sex is overrated, but I plan on doing more research to find a rebuttal to my theory. ;)

12:35am

Song of the Day: ?

Quote of the Day: " Quit playing yourself dawg...she's outta your league"- one of my managers at Niketown told my co-worker that about me. Im still trying to figure out how I feel about that statement.

Newest Obsession: Sleep. I realized that I work 7 days a week..literally. im 'leepy

I had a hard time going to sleep last night because my thoughts were going a million miles per hour. Here I was in the comfort of my own home, setting my alarm to wake up tomorrow to start my day, and on the other coast there was a man waiting to die. I had to think to myself what that has to feel like to know you are about to die in a couple of hours. The emotions going through your body and mind. Today at work one of my co-workers asked me if I supported him. I was a little thrown off #1 Because I didnt expect anyone to ask me that #2 Because he was of another ethnicity.

I decided not to answer the question because it is a very sensitive topic. A part of me felt like I should have had the discussion, but I just didnt want to go there early in the morning. Do I think he should have died? No. Honestly because he is black. Now thats not the only reason why but that is most of it. I dont know much about the man. And from my understanding they didnt really have proof that he did it, other than eyewitness testimony, and one witness said they were coerced into testifying again him. The guys stepmother really wanted him dead. That isnt going to bring your stepson back. Whats done is done. I do believe he should have gotten life in prision. The man became an anti-gang/violence advocate. I believe people do change. Would he have changed if he wasn't in prision? we will never know. But now Tookie is facing his judgement, and I pray that if his heart was truly sincere, that God lets him in the gate.

Self Realizations

Song of the Day: Getcha Shit Together by TI feat Lil Kim (..if you aint getting money good night...i know what a broke nigga look like...when you ridin' in ya wheels.. getcha shit together...boy them diamonds aint real..getcha shit together)...damn lil Kim, get straight to the point why dontcha?

Quote of the Day: (throwback edition) "Queen, do you put ketchup on EVERYTHING"- my little brother when he was 3, he's now 11 with a deep voice (cries) And yes, i made him refer to me as Queen...and he still does. (lol)

Newest Obsession: Liquor. Thats right. This weekend im getting my party ON!!! Long Island..HERE I COME!!


As some of you might know I decided on Psychology as a major. Not because I necessarily wanted to be a psychologist, but because there wasn't anything else at Spelman I wanted to major in. (thats a damn shame) Anyway, we learned about a man by the name of Abraham Maslow. This man came up with the idea of Maslows Hierarchy of Needs, which basically is a theory that people have 5 levels that they are trying to obtain in life, and that you cant go to the next level without completely satisfying the previous level.

Here they are in the order from bottom to the top

1. Physiologicalm (water, air, food)
2. Safety (self explanitory)
3. Love and Belonging (not necessarily sex, just a general feeling of someone caring about you and belonging, be it at work, school, organizations, family...)
4. Esteem (self respect and beign respected by others, basically)
5. Self Actualization (becoming totally comfortable in who you are)

Some say that most people never reach self actualization. Damn.

Anyway here are some things im noticing about myself as of late.

1. Im very stubborn..but not in an aggressive kinda way
2. Most of the time its my way or the highway....again not in an aggressive kinda way
3. I like sleep
4. I think about sex more than I should
5. Since college I have become a lil bit meaner...or more real?? hmm...
6. Im more conservative that liberal
7. I can act funny sometimes
8. Im still spoiled mentally

thats all for now...im sure theres more...

Flirtology 301: Making Moves in the Workplace

Song of the Day: Girls, Girls, Girls (remix) by Jay-Z ('..im looking for a Southern girl....pretty, witty, girly, whirly,....one who likes to party but comes homes early...light, kinda dark..short, kinda tall....slim, kinda thick...I swear I love Cherise')...or something like that (lol)....I love you to Shawn Corey Carter...Happy 36th Birthday (12/4)

Quote of the Day: "yeah gurl, I went out last night, and some negro gon' come up to me and ask me my name. You know what I told him? (me: 'what') ...I told him my name was Strange' (pronounced Straun-je')(laughs hysterically) - my sister...proof that 13 years later the movie Boomerang should be considered a classic

Newest Obesession: WORKING OUT!!!!!....I will be 23 next month and I WILL be fine for it!!


I have been asked by my audience to develop strategies for flirting at the place of work...which leads me to...

DISCLAIMER: I am not an expert on this subject. This information is coming from my Southern (aka 'G.R.I.T.S') feminine wiles, personal experience as a natural flirter, as well as first hand observation. With all of these I will transform the topic to make it work friendly. So if you get fired for sexual harrassment thats on you, because again, I am not an expert.

With all that being said...

Welcome to Flirtology 304:

1. Make Sure HE/SHE is interested: This rule is key because, again, this is the workplace, not Visions. If its wanted he'll reciprocate, if not, they'll tell everybody at the waterhole how much of a bug-a-boo you are, somehow it'll get to the boss...and the you'll have a nice little pink invitation, inviting you to the un-employment line.

2. Ok they're interested..now what?: Ok, we feel that they are sending us little signals (i.e. coming by our desk often just to say 'what's up'...especially when their desk is waaaayyy across the room, and their are no bathrooms near you). You have to figure out what kind of person they are. Read their energy. Try to spark up a convo to get some insight.

"How's your day going?"
"How was your weekend?" (only good on Mondays)
"Any plans this weekend" (only good on Wed, Thurs, Fri)

3. We know what type of person they are: This is good because we get know
a. if they will tell if I flirt with them (if yes..then stop)
b. what flirt strategy to use on the person

4. Flirting Strategies: Styles of flirting to use in the Workplace

a. The Conceited Flirt: (on walking by my desk)..."so tell me the REAL reason you keep walking by my desk?" follow by laughs)...flirty, yet the laughs make it like you aren't and takes the pressure off the question. We really don't want the person to answer the question

b. The Upfront Flirt: "you look real nice today"...classic

c. The Comedic Flirt: (on the employee meeting) "you look like you were bored to death in that meeting" ...this lets them know you were looking at them and it will spark a laugh cause they probably were

d. The Disceet Debate Flirt: ok..for girls its knowing the latest sports....for guys its knowing girls and how they operate. The key to this is playing devils advocate...spark a debate. I mean if you agree, you agree...but if the opportunity comes to where you and your interest dont agree...milk it for all its worth. Preferrably non-serious topics (sports, actors, movies..shit like that)

I want you to know that you can mix and match these flirting techiniques based on the situation

5. Make the move: Whenever you feel like..'ok i wanna see this person outside of work'..not necessarily for a date...just to get to know them. You can either
a. try to make it an after work shin-dig:invite co-workers to a bar so it wont seem like a date and since there will be liquor (hopefully they drink) they can let their guard down a little
or
b. Coffee, Coffee, Coffee: Always works...find a nice little spot..even suggest doing some work. Its not technically a date because you're not eating a meal. You just get to unwind and get to know each other a lil bit

Now..here are some things to be said

1. Dont get mad if other co-workers are feeling the same person as you: Chances are you aren't the only one going to like that person...especially if they are fine and personable

2. Please be discreet: You are still at work. Maintain your professionalism...besides we dont wanna get fired for beating our co-workers ass for meddling all in our business

3. Make sure they aren't married: I mean these days mofos be screaming single but have they wife that they married straight outta high school...if you still choose to play..just be careful

4. Watch your hormones: Sometimes you find yourself wanting to say "damn ill fuck the shit outta you"....now this is ok if you are 110% sure that person wont trip if you say it...but be careful

5. Im assuming college students or recent college grads are reading: Depending on where you are given a little slack on the flirting because you are young and 'dont really know' the workplace like that...take advantage

6. And please dont become the office floozy...men and women

Now these rules only apply if you work somewhere between corporate america and retail...Corporate America you get fired for not fucking and in Retail niggas say anything..so

Thank you for coming to class. Im sure there are some issues I failed to touch on so if you have any questions about flirting at the workplace, finding your personal flirt technique or flirting in general, leave me a comment... thank you

Compromise: Losing yourself or playing a role?

Song of the day: Grillz by Nelly, Paul Wall, Big Gipp, and some other nigga from Nellys camp:(...smile for me daddy...(whatchu lookin at?)...i wanna see ya grill..(you wanna see my what?)....ya..ya grill..ya..ya..ya grill....) ...I can not get that song out of my head

Quote of the Day: "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"- a good sister-friend said when informed of sone very false information. Its funny because...nevermind..its 505...you WOULDN'T understand.

Newest Obsession: Longjohns- I have got to find me some to wear under my jeans...but its too damn cold to go in and out of the stores on michigan ave to find some.


In the beginning of relationships everything is all good in the hood. The person is new and fresh. All youre really concerned about is spending time with that person and giggling and laughing. But as the relationship progresses you start to learn the other persons habits as well as their likes and dislikes. And here is where comprise sets in.

she likes to party. he doesnt and doesnt like for you to. what do you do? 9 times out of 10 she is either going to
a. cut down on the partying
b. cut it out all together

Im going to go with b on this one.

Now....Are you playing the role of homebody or losing yourself?

Another example: Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale...wanted to be a caterer...husband wanted to start a business...she probably thought she was going to play the role of supportive wife, but then ended up losing herself.

In most relationships, people miraculously tend to tolerate shit that they wouldnt even think twice about cussing our own mama about. Why is that? Does the feeling of love/like send off endorphines to our brain that make us totally forget everything we cant stand, everything we said we would do or condone? I think it's ridiculous .










But personally..... if the dick is good and he licking it right..i might renig on a couple of my morals and play a role......we all know why we compromise.....DONT PLAY LIKE IM THE ONLY ONE!!!...DONT YOU DARE JUDGE ME!.......freaks.....ya'll can lie if you want to...im just keepin it real