Innocence Revisted

Song of the Day: Unpredicatable by Jamie Foxx (I know you're use to dinner and a movie.....Why not be my dinner....while makin a movie...) I think I found a brand new appreciation for Jamie Foxx. Think about it. This is the same man played 'Wanda' on in Living Color...'Wanda' ya'll....'Wanda'...now he has an oscar. Plus he can sing...I LOOOOOve his voice. He was on Oprah yesterday. Catch the rerun..it was a good interview. Oprah and Jamie have crushes on each other...its soooo obvious

Quote of the Day: 'I don't know what "chitterlings" are. However, we did not have chitlins this year... Get it right. ...'- a man by the name of Jarrod Loadholt gave this response after I requested some left over 'Chitterlings'.

Newest Obsession: ANYTHING that remotely has ANYTHING to do with ANYTHING sexual. Be it a toy, a joke, a comment, a look....(im so horny ya'll :..()


I remember my first crush. ooo wee! it was so intense. Devvin Markell Anderson. (This was during my yellow boy with 'good' hair phase). I was in 5th grade, he was in 8th grade. I remember the first day he came to church. He had the lil Kris-Kross box braid thingys...soo sexy (lol). I mean, I was gone in the head. He eventually joined the church and ill be honest between summer '95 until about winter '97....my sole reason to go to church was to see him, he could have even been my reason to go to the high school I went to (thats sad)....I mean I couldnt talk around him..damn near wouldnt breathe. I mean if he said jump...I probably would have been like 'whenwherewhattimehow' It was like an out of body experience. But it felt sooo good. I remember one day we were doing nursery duty...and I was holding a tray with little cups of juice for the kids for after naptime. He came around the corner with somebody and I fell and bust my ass, spilling juice everywhere...why? .....cause of HIM. I dont think ive never been that embarrassed in my whole entire life. I wanted to fall off the face of the earth at the tender age of 11.

I said all of this because i was having a walk down childhood lane when things were so simple. And a crush was a crush. It wasnt 'i wanna fuck'....just the innocence of everything. So I want everybody just to take time and think about the good times you had when you were a child and try to maintain some of that child like nature in this crazy world. Have a good day

My Favorite Things

Song of the Day: The Greatest Sex by R. Kelly (..I know 12 ways to make your love come down...and the secret places on you will be found...) Yeah...he's a perv..but damn if he don't put you in the mood.

Quote of the Day: "I just want to tell you I like your vibe. You're really cool. You're funny, sweet, down to earth and seem real genuine. 'Cause you know most girls that are very pretty..you know...attractive...act like they too god or have their nose stuck up in the air" - aww thanks. A co-worker of mine told me. (blushes)

Newest Obsession: Family Feud. Man! Once you get through the Depends and dried tear duct commercials...Dont sleep on the Game Show network.


In honor of Oprah, Ive decided to create my own favorite things list. Granted some of these things you can't buy...they are still my favorite things. (not in any particular order)

1. White towels
2. A super cute shirt on sale
3. A good drink
4. A man that smells good (umm)
5. The way your face looks after getting your eyebrows waxed
6. Terrell Owens body
7. 505
8. The feeling you have after working out
9. My nanny's food
10. Rolling over to cuddle at 6am
11. Cherry Sours
12. A moment of self actualization
13. Babies yawning
14. a good laugh
15. Niptuck
16. An old jam that takes you back to that moment
17. Sleeping on freshly washed sheets
18. Learning something new
19. Blue Bell Cookies and Cream Ice Cream
20. A man who appreciates the art of Cunnilingus

Chicago...imma beat your ass

Song of the day: 'I hate you so much right now' by Kelis ('I hate...you so much right now...I hate you so much right now....I hate you so much right now......AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!)

Quote of the day: "I mean, I wasted 10 fucking dollars in one day....and I aint even do nothing...I wasted 10 dollars on fucking CTA...asshole....Im fucking pissed- A random girl on the bus last night venting...i feel your plight sister..i feel your plight

Newest Obesession: A 45. Yes..the gun. Im going to get to cappin mu'h fuckas in a minute its so cold

Editors Note: In the last issue of my blog i said that I have found someone i wouldnt mind spending the rest of my life with. Well...I didnt mean to say I 'found' somebody....because he who findth....ya'll finish the rest.


Warning: this is a rant!

Ode to Chicago
Chicago Chicago
I always knew you were a hoe
I know how you got that name the windy city
because you really blow

As you can tell, I am uncharacteristically (is that a word...lol) mad. Im upset. Im perturbed. Im bothered. Chicago has some nevre acting ugly towards me. I almost got blown away today. Which made me think about how doctors say that there are alot of obese people in this city...well im starting to think thats the way to go. At least you wont get blown away. Freakin' A. I know I know..why don't I just leave?....well due to circumstances and obligations I cant just up and go as I would like to do. but this weather is ridiculous. How in 'dee' hell can you live here? I mean I understand if you were born here, im talking about you eskimos and torture freaks who move here. Dont even get me started on the noise level. Leigh told me if I didnt like it here I wouldnt like the noise in New York. My issue is this. New York is known for the constant noise...keyword constant. In Chicago, it will be dead silence then all of a sudden they let loose all the fire trucks in the city....then quiet....then 15 trains at once..you get the pattern. If it was constant I could block it out. The inconsistencies are what bother me. Its like they wait until you have mellowed out and only then can all the cars on Michigan Ave honk their horns.
The only thing that can make this better is more cowbell. LOL. Naw im just playing. But imma let you out there use your imaginations on what could make this whole situation bearable (wink wink)

New Format

Song of the day: 'Throwback' by Usher (" You never miss a good thing till it leaves ya...Finally I realized that I need yaI.... want ya back....Baby girl I need ya back....Gotta have ya back, babe....Heartbroken when you left my world.....Man I wish I woulda kept my girl ...I love you...I don't know what I'm gon do without my baby) ...it was on my mind this morning (?)

Quote of the day: 'yeah she's perfect, everything you want in a woman....except she's darkskinned. I only fuck with girls who look like ashanti, mya, and christina millian'- some ignant nigga at niketown

Newest Obsession: That damn Garretts Popcorn. Yeah thats me in 40 degree weather waiting in line outside of Garretts trying to get a 8oz mini mix for $4.25



Ya'll...I think that extacy I took over a year ago is still in my system. Yesterday i was at Niketown..and I had a brain fart. I thought that I wanted to have a kid. ...like right now. I know...I know.. what the fuck is wrong with me? I just chalked that up to my eggs dropping on my uterus aka 'aunt flow' talking. Maybe I missed my eggs.

Another thing that has been on my mind is the fear of being common...regular..like everybody else. I dont want the cookie cutter life..if there is such a thing. I dont want a regular 9 to 5, a boring mate, and a dog. That scares me. There are people who have been working at Nike for 5-12 years!! Imagine being with a company for that long. or with anything consistantly for that long...which brings me into the biggest, most non-pimperish shit in my life.


I think ive found the person I want to wake up to for the rest of my life....im just going to end it on that note today. Let that marinate...details to come

Social Suicide

Today I had an interesting conversation with one of my good gal pals about dating 'mr. society doesnt think he's right' (basically). And it made me wonder how many people are dating or even married someone because of what everybody else (ie friends, family, co-workers, society) thought of him.

Your mama: ooo..he is so handsome, he got a degree...and no baby mama drama
Your friends: I like him..he cute too...is he good in bed girl?...ya'll gone have some pretty kids
Your co-workers: You two make a nice couple
Society: He got a big dick, direct deposit, look a lil like Boris...and did I say direct deposit

Add that in with 'I can spend more than 5 hours with him without drama'..and BAM.. you plan your future with him.

Now bring that down to a smaller scale...saaaayyy. The AUC. You have some of the brightest African American students put together in this petri dish. Everyone trying to be important in their own little way....by being greek, the life of EVERY party, the clothes horse, the jock, SGA...and so on. Everybody is basically trying to make a name for themselves in one way or the other. So when it comes to the dating page of the book it gets very bizarre (in some cases). Who you chose to date/make your girlfriend is a reflection of you in some way or another. And sometimes its something more further that what meets the eye.

I have been one to deal with guys that are odd balls. I like odd balls. LOL...the paranoid joke-telling drug dealer, the madonna-whore complex brother, the obsessed stalker, the true scorpio (trust me...that is a type all by its self), the habitual liar (lol), the mentally retarded star quarterback, the guy who was scared of girls....i mean...come on now.

I digress...

The point i guess im trying to make is ..what happen to 'love is blind'. What happen to I love him because his heart is big, not his bank account is big? Maybe i've been drinking too much of the 'beloved community' juice.

I dont know....now my thoughts are shifting everywhere. So im gonna stop right here

well...

I was going back to xanga but i think i figured this thang out...stupid blogspace.

Anyway. Let's talk about relationships (myyy favorite topic)...specifically..trust

As an individual I pride myself on being a realist in most situations (unless youre talking about the long distance relationship that Jay-Z and I have). I tend to cut out all the bull shit and get to the nitty gritty of the situation. Some say I have tendencies of a man, but everynow and then my arch enemy kicks in. You know that unstable creature side sometimes referred to as a 'Woman' or 'girl'. You know her, the one that takes the something so nothing and turns it into a big something. Or the one when her man tell her how he saw a woman getting robbed and he saved her and her cat and all she gets out of it is 'you looked at a woman'.....yeah her. Well....(getting on the therapist chair) I had a similar situation happen to me last night. (don't worry im getting to the trust part).
Cliff notes: You say you are going to call me back. ok. 7, 8, 9, no call. hmm. strange. I call. no answer. ok. maybe sleep.maybe cant hear the phone i call again. two call maximum. leave message. cool. 10, 11. no call. mind starts wondering. goes into automatic. there are many options. death not one of them. BUT fucking is among them. top 10. top 5. top 1. ok. calm down Cherise. (realist)you dont know what he's doing. (demon) you right you DONT know what he's doing. (realist) He's probably sleep. (demon) yeah sleeping with another BITCH. (realist) probably cant hear his phone (demon) yeah cause when you knocking somebodys head against the headboard people tend not to hear anything else. confused. shit.the demon has a point. THE END.
Now in June I wouldn't have thought this but now its a different story. THIS is where I have a problem with the demon. This morning come to find out some 'family stuff' was going down...'somebody died'. (the demon put it in quotes). Oh ok...I understand. Im so sorry to hear that. Is what should have happen....but that damn demon couldnt let it go.

Needless to say im still working through it as we type. Although you say I forgive you and 'let's move on' Do you really? There's always images of your S.O. naked stroking some other person, participating in an act that you thought was only reserved for you and them. Imaging them kissing that person passionately, looking them in their eyes, caressing them, laying there naked cuddling somebody else, while your holding it down for them cause you were convinced that this relationship was special for so many reasons. At what point do you trust again? cause the realist side of me says every relationship has problems, but why is that? I have a whole lotta questions and not enough answers right now...i dont think I ever made a point.. (or had one to begin with...just ranting. Now im sad and even more confused.....(screams...'DAMN LOVE') ..now let me go look in the mirror and cheer myself up!